Last night we watched Nuts in May which is an excellent film, but now the song about the zoo is in my head and I can’t seem to remove it. We also watched The Cable Guy and then I watched Underworld which is utter gash. In case you’ve never seen it, I came up with the following equation:
(Kate Beckinsdale + man/werewolf/vampire) vs. (vampires vs. werewolves) = Underworld
It’s not very good. I’m sure a lot of men enjoy it because of Kate Beckinsdale carrying guns and wearing a rather disturbing PVC catsuit, but that is no grounds for quality cinema in my opinion.
I also cleaned out my kitchen cupboards in an attempt to get rid of the ants which have moved into our house, but they’re still there unfortunately. I made carrot cake muffins as well which were pretty fit.
The end.
Many times in the past few months I have stared at this screen, typed something and then erased it and logged out. The reason being that I have done nothing at all of note. The longer I leave it though, the more depressing it gets.
Someone on the telly just said ‘most happiest.’ ARGH!
Sooo… how’ve you been? I’ve been working and saving, then working some more. I also had some drinks, watched some truly appalling telly and didn’t spend enough time with my boyfriend. Not on purpose but because he works all the goddamn time and I don’t.
What am I saving for you ask? Well, I want to go to cookery school here. It looks like the best thing ever, but unfortunately it costs a number of thousands of pounds. I’m about a quarter of the way there, but I need to step up my game. Unless anyone very rich happens to be reading this, in which case I am very open to receiving free money. Please. Just a bit? Tenner? Fine. Piss you.
Hmm… I am going to try my best to write more on this blog. I also think maybe I want to be a food writer so I might test that here at some point. It’s the perfect place because no-one reads it so I won’t humiliate myself. Woop!
Speaking of Lord of the Rings, has anyone else noticed that in the film Gandalf can happily call the services of a massive eagle if he so chooses, but then he just lets Frodo go on that ridiculously long walk even though he has tiny legs and has never left the Shire before?
That seems a bit cruel to me. Perhaps it should have just gone:
“But Gandalf, this journey seems like it’s going to be pretty long - is there no way you can help?” (I’m aware this is not a line from the film or book, so shut up.)
“Why yes. I just happen to have at my command a MASSIVE FUCKING EAGLE. Would you just like to ride that to Mount Doom, thus shortening this trilogy by about 10 hours?”
“Yeah, alright. Then we’re less likely to run into any trouble and also it’ll be loads quicker. Thanks Gandalf, you’re excellent.”
In case you’re thinking I don’t like the movies or the books so far, I do. I just noticed that in the film and it’s annoyed me ever since.
Another thing I noticed recently is that Titanic is one of the worst films ever made. It’s absolute mince from beginning to end. It was on telly recently; I don’t own it or anything.
I’ve missed my blog. Now I have somewhere else to force people read my ramblings. Hurrah!
Things which have annoyed me recently:
Walkers and Tesco have changed their crisps and now they’re not as crunchy and they taste a bit weird. Apparently they’ve made them healthier, but I don’t really see the point in trying to make something healthy when is so clearly meant to be unhealthy. Bastards. I may need to find a new snack of choice, but that is easier said than done as I am hopelessly addicted to crisps.
That stupid hair advert with that man on it with the stupid annoying face.
That is all.
I don’t think much has really happened since I last blogged, which is a bit upsetting because it’s been so long.
I got a job eventually, working in the call centre of a place which sells water gardens. Then I got a new job in the same place as the assistant buyer (promotion after 2 months there – skills) which is lots better and means I don’t have to talk to the general public which is nice.
The cat is now quite large and is made from pure evil. We think he might actually be a bit mentally ill because of how weird he is. He’s not allowed outside yet, which could be contributing but I think he’s just horrible and likes attacking people (me in particular).
Not entirely sure what else has happened. I’ve had some housemates. Duncan has moved in. The house is messy.
I finally bought and started reading Lord of the Rings (I’m fully aware of how bad it is that I haven’t read them up until now) and so far not that much has happened. They went on a walk for a bit and now they’re lost in a forest. I’m hoping something epic will happen soon, perhaps a helicopter explosion.
This is a weird blog post. I need to get back into the swing of it, so I will try to write more regularly than never and hopefully it will all be alright…
Yesterday was a day of tragedy that shall never be forgotten:
- 11.30 am - Trevor Macdonald found to be missing from his bowl. Preliminary search inconclusive.
- 11.35 am - Hobbes T. Cat named as main suspect.
- 12:45 pm - Hobbes T. Cat cleared of murder when Mother Park pointed out the lack of water spillage around the bowl.
- 1.00 pm -Lunch
- 3.00 pm - Thorough search reveals corpse in coal bucket.
- 3.01 pm - Corpse identified as Trevor Macdonald - Siamese fighting fish.
- 3.05 pm - Verdict: Suicide.