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My South East Asian reading list

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We were away for 5 months. Here are all the books I read and a very brief opinion of each one (so I can kid myself that this is in any way relevant to anyone!)

  1. Room – not as good as I was expecting really, readable but not amazing.
  2. One Day – shocked me by being very well written and enjoyable
  3. Anansi Boys - re-reading for the 3rd time I think. Love it.
  4. Good Omens - long overdue first reading. Absolutely brilliant and very funny.
  5. Lord of the Rings part 1 - do I need to say anything? Re-reading, awesome as usual. The songs are always a bit boring though.
  6. The Time Traveller’s Wife - entertaining at the time, but a bit forgettable.
  7. LOTR part 2  - see above.
  8. The Colour of Magic - first proper Terry Pratchett book I ever read. He’s a very funny man.
  9. The Light Fantastic - also very entertaining.
  10. The Painted Alphabet - really interesting novel based on a Balinese folk tale. Beautiful book.
  11. Dune - not too sure what to make of this. A little bit pants I thought!
  12. LOTR part 3 - see 5 and 7
  13. The Killing Joke - bought this for want of anything else to read. It was toss.
  14. The Girl who Played with Fire - found this quite readable, but didn’t have any love for the characters.
  15. The Girl who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest - didn’t like this one as much and started to develop quite a strong dislike for the characters by this point!
  16. First they Killed my Father  - essential reading if you’re visiting Cambodia. Harrowing but fascinating book and very well written.
  17. The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey - love a good kids’ book! It had an air of Lemony Snicket about it, but not quite as good.
  18. The Black Tattoo - I would have loved this when I was 14
  19. So Much for That - enjoyable, not mind blowing but a good read.
  20. A Spot of Bother - second reading, really realistic characters. The bit where he chops his leg up almost made me faint because of how well described it was.
  21. The Almost Moon - couldn’t remember what happened in this one. Think that tells you all you need to know! Not a patch on The Lovely Bones.
  22. The Black Angel - Jumped in part-way through the Charlie Parker series but really enjoyed them. Dark stories with a bit of fantasy thrown in, good stuff.
  23. Nocturnes - short stories by John Connolly. Not quite Neil Gaiman quality, but still worth a read.
  24. The Unquiet - Another in the Charlie Parker series by John Connolly, see comments above!
  25. Pride and Prejudice - haven’t read many classics, but really enjoyed this one. Genuinely entertaining story with some great characters.
  26. Northern Lights - re-reading for the nth time. Words cannot describe how much I love these books. Wonderfully written, beautifully descriptive and so real despite being set in other worlds.
  27. The Subtle Knife - see above
  28. The Lost Symbol - god I hate Dan Brown and these types of books. Shocking.
  29. We are all made of glue - really nice character driven book, enjoyed this one a lot.
  30. Every Dead Thing - first one of the Charlie Parker series. Some gory imagery, but good thriller/crime books.
There we go. 30 books in 5 months; pretty good going I reckon!

Part 2 – in which I can’t think of a clever title.

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So, spurred on by some lovely comments from people on Facebook and here, I’m going to carry on with the saga.

I believe when I left you I’d decided that enough was enough and that I wasn’t going to be that sort of person any more. Whenever I tell anyone about having panic attacks, or any of my experiences with anxiety, the main feeling I have is one of sheer frustration. Why can’t I do the things I did before!? Why am I not able to just hop on a busy bus, or make last minute plans to go see people!? I feel like I am mentally capable of doing all of these things, but then my body won’t let me because deep down somewhere I’m scared of doing them. Even though I’m not really. See? Frustrating.

Because, at the end of the day, the reason I have these attacks is because of a tiny little error in my brain. I don’t mean brain damage, or anything serious, but somewhere my brain registers every single little bit of adrenaline as panic and sets off these stupid, embarrassing symptoms. To give you an example, I was planning for a while to get a new tattoo (sorry mum and dad). I’d had it drawn up by a friend and just wanted to pop it in to the tattoo parlour for them to jazz up and to quote me a price. Which sound easy. Because it bloody well should be. It took me about 5 attempts to actually get into the tattoo place, then when I got there I was so shaky I could barely speak. Not because I was actually worried about the tattoo, but just because I was excited which meant my body produced some adrenaline which it then mistook for me being scared. So then it put up all its defence mechanisms. Which was annoying. Just one tiny little processing error which completely messed up my plans.

So that’s what I have to contend with. Something that is so deep in my subconscious that I can’t tell it’s there, making things happen in my brain that make my body go weird. Not particularly easy. I convinced myself for a while that there was a definite cause, even though I couldn’t think what it was. Maybe something had happened that made me less confident and more worried. But if something like that is there then I still haven’t found it. Maybe it’s just bad luck.

It turns out this will be a trilogy of anxiety based excitement. Don’t get too worked up though please. I will get to the bit where I sort myself out (pretty much), probably tomorrow.

Oh and I am also thinking of posting some of my travel journal entries with photos. I know the trip’s finished, but you’ve got that to look forward to. There is a good one where I whine about having food poisoning, and another where I get drunk. Hurray!

Tweet Tweet

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So a while ago I decided to remove myself from Twitter. I figured I didn’t really have anything too interesting to say and I don’t own a fancy internet phone, so it didn’t make much sense to me. But now I have been advised that if I want to make friends, meet people and do things in Manchester I’d better get myself back on there. So I have. So far it’s a bit better than last time in that I’ve found plenty of food and book-related people to follow and already discovered a few new places to go in Chorlton for good food. I’m still feeling weird about having ‘open air’ conversations with friends on the internet though. And about following people I don’t know who now probably think I’m weird. Ah well.

No other news really; a bit of potential job-based luck today but not sure how it’ll turn out. It’s just so hard to know what people are looking for. Something will turn up I’m sure, I’d just like to to turn up sooner rather than later because I want to get exploring (when I say exploring I mean drinking and eating). Found out today that a deli literally around the corner holds a monthly supper club which looks scrummy, there’s a really good fishmonger near here and lots of good bars. Money is definitely needed. Oh and we have sheets at the window instead of curtains so it’d be good to do something about that as well before people start to think we’re squatting…

Moving Day!

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Tomorrow is moving day! We’ve actually technically moved in already, but we’ve been living for a week with an air bed, 2 floor cushions and a laptop. Which is crap enough when you’re working and only there for a few hours a day, but when you don’t have anything to do and don’t have the internet it’s absolute rubbish.

Apart from being bored silly, I have been having various Chorlton-based adventures. I think it’s going to be a cool place to live, but it’s going to take a while to get used to the big mix of people. At the moment I’m assuming all kids with hoodies are murderers, even the ones who are polite to me…

Today I had my Job Centre interview. Basically it’s where they check the details of your claim and tell you that after paying taxes for around 3 years you are entitled to the princely sum of £70 a week to keep you going. Oh and no housing benefit or anything because your partner earns too much. I’m not entirely sure how they can figure this out when they won’t take details of his outgoings. Not that I’m bitter. Except I am. But I won’t go on about it. (Stupid benefits system).

Anyway, we get internet next week so there will be more regular posts and less whingeing. Sorry about that.

A House!

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I have just paid the deposit on our brand new flat which is excellent. Well, the fact that they wanted double the money because I’m unemployed (shudder) wasn’t excellent, but I’m very excited about the flat and about living in Chorlton.

I’ve been busy painting the hell out of some chairs and bedside tables. Found some gorgeous and inexpensive Cath Kidston-esque fabric here, and covered the cushions on the chairs with it. I’m really proud of how they turned out – pictures will follow once they’re in situ.

Apart from that, the job side of life is a big fat fail so far. I’m still applying for one or two a day, but have no idea whether I haven’t heard back because I haven’t been successful or if I’m just being really impatient. Something will come along I’m sure, but it’s very difficult not to get disheartened. Keep your fingers crossed for me!